LGBT athletic news outlet OutSports
kicked off National Coming Out Week with an impressive and eloquent
article written by the 22-year-old Hillsdale College senior who just
became the first out male basketball player in Division II of the NCAA.
Derek Schell is a guard for the Hillsdale College Chargers
and an international business major. And as of last month, he's out to
his coaches, teammates, and classmates at his liberal arts college in
Hillsdale, Mich.
In his articulate op-ed, Schell recounts his high school
experience as a "star athlete and a successful student" at a prestigious
Catholic school, acknowledging that for most 17-year-olds, that
situation would be a "dream come true."
"For me, it was a nightmare," Schell writes. "I became
part of a group of people from whom certain things were expected,
including being honor roll students and varsity athletes. … I hid who I
was so that I wouldn't let other people down. It was much later that I
realized that the problem was not that I didn't fit into my world the
way that I wanted to. The problem was that my world didn't fit who I
was. It fit the guy I was trying to be, but it didn't fit Derek."
Schell reveals his lengthy and emotional coming-out
process, valiantly struggling to overcome stereotypes that made him
believe he couldn't be an athlete and be gay; or be gay and Christian.
Alongside his attraction to other men, Schell also developed what he
calls an "emotional connection" to creative outlets like music, art, and
photography.
"Those feelings conflicted with my understanding of being
an athlete and I couldn’t figure out how to make those two concepts
coexist," he writes. "Who I was becoming contradicted who I thought I
was supposed to become."
Schell points out that three years ago, he promised
himself he would never reveal his secret to anyone. But since then, with
the support of his family, his boyfriend, and even classmates at his
self-described "conservative college," Schell has come to realize that
he "could be an athlete, be a friend, be a son, be a brother, be an
artist, and be gay as well."
"I could even be a huge Glee fan too," he writes.
"There never needed to be differentiation between the various aspects of
my life and personality. One is not mutually exclusive of the other,
and being all of these things, all at once, makes me who I am."
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